Friday, November 16, 2012

Hello, Patch!

The last two weeks at home were supposed to be about bonding with Ian and supervising our nanny as she took care of him, to make sure everything was kosher.  Except really, I learned that the yayas (nannies) were so excited about the baby that they took every opportunity to feed, burp, change, and bathe Ian - to the point that I twice took Ian in my room and shut the door just to get some alone time with him.  I'm not complaining, since this means that Ian will get lots of hugs and attention when I go back to work on Monday, which is exactly what a baby needs.

The attention given to the new baby meant that I have been able to spend oodles of time with Patch the last two weeks, a situation certainly not anticipated, but very much appreciated.  Wm's mood swings + Patch's easy going nature = most parenting efforts of the last three years focused on Wm.  Add a new baby to the mix and, well, the stars seemed aligned for Patch to suffer from middle child syndrome even more than usual (since Wm is high maintenance).  Luckily for Patch, though, Wm is at school full day and the yayas claimed Ian - so he pretty much got two full weeks of mom attention.

The last time I spent a prolonged daily time with Patch was over home leave, ie January 2011, when he wasn't talking due to language confusion.  He talks a storm now, though with some funny pronunciations, and articulates complex abstract thoughts.  I could have real conversations with him, not just talk about the concrete things around us.  It's much easier to get to know a kid when he talks to you.

Some of our topics:

  • How he, Lea and Elizabeth would take good care of Ian when I went back to work (this topic, by the way, was brought up by Patch.  I hadn't even mentioned going back yet)
  • That he is different from his two brothers because he was born in India and not America like them
  • How he knows that fruits and vegetables are healthy, but he doesn't care to eat them or even try them, because yogurt and peanut butter are enough for him
  • That his older brother is naughty sometimes, but Patch still loves him (again, a topic broached at Patch's instigation.  I try very very hard not to get exasperated with Wm in front of Patch.)
So, what I'll miss the most when I go back to work next week is not Ian's fledgling smiles (though those are cute and I will miss them!), but the 3PM snack time with Patch when I had 30 minutes of one-on-one time.  Carving out solo time with each kid is pretty hard with only two hours each day between me arriving home from work and their bed time.

(For those of you who are worried, the yayas know they have to spend time and attention with all kids - we've had this discussion.  I consider the attention of the last two weeks their "bonding time" with Ian so they get to know his cues before I go back.)

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