After Ian was born, a friend commented how sad it was I only had boys, since I would be a good role model for daughters about charting one's own way. Before I could jump in with any number of comments (first of which, honestly, is that most mothers, regardless of work-life choices, strive to be excellent role models for their daughters and I don't do the "mommy wars" debates because I really do believe every person, man or woman, should decide what is best for him or herself, and as long as he or she is responsible and contributing to society, what do you care? .... but I digress...), another friend sitting with us said, "what do you mean? Pam's sons will all grow up thinking moms and dads can do lots of things, so they'll be great spouses!"
Shortly after that, a different Foreign Service spouse mentioned how the two years she spent as a single parent, while her husband was in Saudi Arabia. I noted my surprise, because the expat compounds in Saudi generally have a pretty family-friendly reputation. She said she was just worried about the impression it would leave on her then-middle school aged sons, seeing their mom being restricted from doing some things (e.g., driving) or required to do other things (e.g., head scarves) that didn't apply to them or their dad. And she didn't know how to parent through those situations.
Thankfully, I've never faced those kinds of decisions and really the only sexist comment I've heard from my kids to date is that "salad is for girls" (though, Uncle Andrew worked to dispel that theory last night). And most days, honestly, "feminism" isn't really a subject of debate at our house.
I think a subtle message must be getting through, though.
Today at church, Wm was working on the kids pew-sheet handout, decoding a message. He finished, and it read: "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the law and about whom the prophets also wrote -- Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
He immediately turned to me and asked why it didn't say "son of Joseph and Mary," since "isn't he just as much Mary's son." (and, I replied, even more Mary's son, given the immaculate conception) Then, he crossed out the period and added: ", Mary and God."
It's a work in progress (he's only seven after all!), but knock on wood things are on the right track.
Shortly after that, a different Foreign Service spouse mentioned how the two years she spent as a single parent, while her husband was in Saudi Arabia. I noted my surprise, because the expat compounds in Saudi generally have a pretty family-friendly reputation. She said she was just worried about the impression it would leave on her then-middle school aged sons, seeing their mom being restricted from doing some things (e.g., driving) or required to do other things (e.g., head scarves) that didn't apply to them or their dad. And she didn't know how to parent through those situations.
Thankfully, I've never faced those kinds of decisions and really the only sexist comment I've heard from my kids to date is that "salad is for girls" (though, Uncle Andrew worked to dispel that theory last night). And most days, honestly, "feminism" isn't really a subject of debate at our house.
I think a subtle message must be getting through, though.
Today at church, Wm was working on the kids pew-sheet handout, decoding a message. He finished, and it read: "We have found the one Moses wrote about in the law and about whom the prophets also wrote -- Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."
He immediately turned to me and asked why it didn't say "son of Joseph and Mary," since "isn't he just as much Mary's son." (and, I replied, even more Mary's son, given the immaculate conception) Then, he crossed out the period and added: ", Mary and God."
It's a work in progress (he's only seven after all!), but knock on wood things are on the right track.
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