Getting Returns

Our oldest is a bit of a tyrant.  Before he was born, we intended to call him "Will."  But within hours of him coming out, I told Greg this baby - still so new - was just too serious and I couldn't call him anything except his full name.  At 2.5, we joked he was a "benevolent dictator" and thought he would change with the addition of a sibling, necessitating sharing the attention.  Wrong.  If I'm honest, most of our house revolves around keeping his mood steady.  We've learned more than a few tricks in the last seven years, and he's learned to cope with many of his (seemingly neurotic) habits/sensitivities (if you live in the outside world).  Things get better as time goes on, but it still takes an enormous about of effort.  

All along, though, his teachers have noted his empathy, and other parents have commented how much he takes care of his little brothers.  When things get crazy, I try to remember this.  So, when he told me nonchalantly this afternoon he got a "model behavior" award at school for helping "his friend" "A," I had to hold back some tears. 

(I don't know his parents, so don't know how they feel about names on blogs, so I'll just call the other boy "A")

"A" moved here just at the end of last school year from another country (not one we've lived in) and didn't speak any English.  Wm's first grade teacher noted at the end of the year how helpful Wm was with patiently explaining how things work to "A."  My guess is that the teachers intentionally placed "A" in the desk next to Wm at the start of this year.  My other guess is that "A," still suffering a bit of a language barrier, doesn't have many friends. 

I have no idea if Wm remembers being the only native English speaker in his schools in India or the Philippines.  Both were English-medium schools, but I have to assume Hindi/Telugu and Tagalog/Chinese pervaded on the playgrounds at the preschool level.  Maybe subconsciously he remembers what it's like not to intuitively understand and to need a friend to explain things.  Or I could be projecting my peripatetic lifestyle decisions into a positive outcome in my child's behavior, just to make me feel better (if 2-3 years can still be considered peripatetic? maybe not).  

Either way, I was touched he called "A" his friend, and that he went out of his way to help him.  The stubborn autocrat once again shows he has a softer side.