Teaching proper manners and self responsibility is something parents around the world struggle with, I'm sure -- but I think rearing children in the developing world with loving nannies whose culture and training is to do everything for the child complicates a difficult task. Don't get me wrong - going to work each day is made easier by having the loving nannies at home. But, we not only have to work at teaching our children - but also teaching the nanny (in cultures where direct criticism is not well taken).
I admit - I've often taken the path of least resistance, letting nanny be a nanny how she thinks is right and throwing my hands up when my child doesn't act the way I actually think he should. And then suffer from extreme embarrassment on home leave and R&R when back in the USA where actions such as a three year old expecting an adult to feed him or a five year old refusing to clean up his toys are completely unacceptable.
After three months of (nanny-free) prego-vac, followed by immediately finding out (ie, on landing in Manila) that our next assignment would be DC, I plucked up the energy to commit to being a better parent. After a few months, we've finally established a dinner routine with Wm actually sitting at the table with us (sometimes for as long as 30 minutes) and clearing his own plate. They're getting better at cleaning up their toys. And the nanny now understands the concept of time out.
Tonight, Patch surprised me. We had finished his nightly episode of Octonauts, and he was running from the living room towards the kitchen (ie, the opposite direction of the bathroom to brush his teeth).
Exasperated, I barked out, "Patch, what are you doing? Brush teeth!"
Equally exasperated, he huffed back, "Mama, I need to put my sippy cup in the sink and the sink is THAT WAY!"
I apologized and thanked him :)
I admit - I've often taken the path of least resistance, letting nanny be a nanny how she thinks is right and throwing my hands up when my child doesn't act the way I actually think he should. And then suffer from extreme embarrassment on home leave and R&R when back in the USA where actions such as a three year old expecting an adult to feed him or a five year old refusing to clean up his toys are completely unacceptable.
After three months of (nanny-free) prego-vac, followed by immediately finding out (ie, on landing in Manila) that our next assignment would be DC, I plucked up the energy to commit to being a better parent. After a few months, we've finally established a dinner routine with Wm actually sitting at the table with us (sometimes for as long as 30 minutes) and clearing his own plate. They're getting better at cleaning up their toys. And the nanny now understands the concept of time out.
Tonight, Patch surprised me. We had finished his nightly episode of Octonauts, and he was running from the living room towards the kitchen (ie, the opposite direction of the bathroom to brush his teeth).
Exasperated, I barked out, "Patch, what are you doing? Brush teeth!"
Equally exasperated, he huffed back, "Mama, I need to put my sippy cup in the sink and the sink is THAT WAY!"
I apologized and thanked him :)
1 comment:
It's so hard to be consistently firm, and if you are a nanny who doesn't want to lose her job, it's understandable that they often aren't. I'm impressed with your progress.
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