Three weeks ago, I took a leadership class. As part of it, we did the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I've done this a few times before, and am still the same type: INTJ. The only difference is that this time, all of the types were more pronounced, especially the T (thinking) and N (intuition). Basically, my take away from the class is that when I manage people (in theory, I should do that at some point in my career, since I do hope to get promoted :) ), I need to make sure that I don't come across so matter of fact that I'm unfeeling.
This also, apparently, applies to parenting.
Case in point: At back to school night, the parents were encouraged to write a "doodle note" to their child. I had NO IDEA what to write. So, I wrote: "Hi William, Um... we were here - ha ha ha. I guess you're not next to Raul anymore. ~Mama." And I drew a soccer ball and baseball.
Later, walking around the class, I glanced at the other mom's notes. (yes, even with two parents in the class, only the moms seemed to write the note. I think this is because the paper had hearts all over it with "doodle note" written in a very feminine script. I won't start to go into how much Comic Sans and "cutesy" fonts are used in elementary school, which absolutely drives me up a wall.) Every other note was something like "you're a super star!" "i'm so proud of you!" etc etc.
Obviously, my NT was shining strong. Not one iota of F (feeling) in my note. I felt slightly bad for Wm, but, hey, he gets to deal with the mom he has, right? Better learn young :)
I forgot about it, until the note came home from school today. I took it out from the folder and was again embarrassed to the point of needing to bring it up.
Me: Um, William, I think I have to apologize for that doodle note.
Wm: What?
Me: Well, did you read the notes your friends got?
Wm: Yeah.
Me: So, what did you think of mine?
Wm: It was the worst in the whole class. [love his brutal honesty! especially when true!]
Me: Yeah, so that's what I'm apologizing for. I love you, you know, right?
Wm: Yeah, I know. I don't need a doodle note for that.
*phew. No lasting damage, at least from this parenting misstep. And I'll work on putting a little more S and F (sensing & feeling) into my parental feedback mechanisms, too.
This also, apparently, applies to parenting.
Case in point: At back to school night, the parents were encouraged to write a "doodle note" to their child. I had NO IDEA what to write. So, I wrote: "Hi William, Um... we were here - ha ha ha. I guess you're not next to Raul anymore. ~Mama." And I drew a soccer ball and baseball.
Later, walking around the class, I glanced at the other mom's notes. (yes, even with two parents in the class, only the moms seemed to write the note. I think this is because the paper had hearts all over it with "doodle note" written in a very feminine script. I won't start to go into how much Comic Sans and "cutesy" fonts are used in elementary school, which absolutely drives me up a wall.) Every other note was something like "you're a super star!" "i'm so proud of you!" etc etc.
Obviously, my NT was shining strong. Not one iota of F (feeling) in my note. I felt slightly bad for Wm, but, hey, he gets to deal with the mom he has, right? Better learn young :)
I forgot about it, until the note came home from school today. I took it out from the folder and was again embarrassed to the point of needing to bring it up.
Me: Um, William, I think I have to apologize for that doodle note.
Wm: What?
Me: Well, did you read the notes your friends got?
Wm: Yeah.
Me: So, what did you think of mine?
Wm: It was the worst in the whole class. [love his brutal honesty! especially when true!]
Me: Yeah, so that's what I'm apologizing for. I love you, you know, right?
Wm: Yeah, I know. I don't need a doodle note for that.
*phew. No lasting damage, at least from this parenting misstep. And I'll work on putting a little more S and F (sensing & feeling) into my parental feedback mechanisms, too.
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