I run across some interesting words, living in countries where English is widely spoken and often used as the "link language" where so many dialects persist. Filipino English and American English are, of course, mutually intelligible, but every now and then a word pops out that takes me some time to fully understand.
William's school uses the word "co-parent" in most of its communication home. Today's letter was addressed in the singular, inviting the reader to attend a workshop on Friday morning with a visiting American Montessori consultant. It concluded by encouraging the reader to bring along his or her co-parent.
As background, family here is much more fluid than in the U.S. With so many OFW (overseas Filipino workers), it is not uncommon for children grow up with only one biological parent at home, or, if both parents are OFWs, with grandparents or aunts or uncles as the primary caregivers. In addition, at the visa window, I observe all kinds of family situations. Divorce is illegal in the Philippines, and many don't seek or can't obtain an annulment. So, a separated person might meet another partner, have children with the new partner in addition to children from the legal marriage, and all live together as a family - except the parents in the new family aren't technically married. So the new partner can't technically be a parent of the child from the first (still legal) marriage.
Over the last few months, I've gotten the sense that "co-parent" helps out in these situations, referring to whomever the parent thinks of as his or her primary support in the act of parenting - it is a broader term than spouse, doesn't have the sometimes negative association that comes with "stepparent," and acknowledges the nurturing role a live-in partner plays even if that relationship is not legal.
I'm curious if it also applies to the extended parenting roles that are necessitated by OFW parents. For instance, consider this highly unlikely (but theoretically possible) situation. I go on an unaccompanied assignment, leaving Greg and the boys (not my plan, but just for instance). Greg's sister ends up working at a school in the same city as his assignment. Feeling pity on him, she moves in to help with the boys. Would she, then, be considered a "co-parent" for that short period of time? Or does it have to be longer?
Americans, at least in my experience, have a very set and comparatively narrow definition of "parent." In my opinion, it doesn't seem to extend beyond the bio-parent, step-parent, or adoptive-parent. The idea of a "co-parent," though, intrigues me, especially in light of the extended absence of an OFW parent. Greg's TDY really made me appreciate having two parents - as a single parent, I had to be "on" all the time. Were he gone for three years, I might appreciate my sister or brother or own parent filling in as a co-parent.
William's school uses the word "co-parent" in most of its communication home. Today's letter was addressed in the singular, inviting the reader to attend a workshop on Friday morning with a visiting American Montessori consultant. It concluded by encouraging the reader to bring along his or her co-parent.
As background, family here is much more fluid than in the U.S. With so many OFW (overseas Filipino workers), it is not uncommon for children grow up with only one biological parent at home, or, if both parents are OFWs, with grandparents or aunts or uncles as the primary caregivers. In addition, at the visa window, I observe all kinds of family situations. Divorce is illegal in the Philippines, and many don't seek or can't obtain an annulment. So, a separated person might meet another partner, have children with the new partner in addition to children from the legal marriage, and all live together as a family - except the parents in the new family aren't technically married. So the new partner can't technically be a parent of the child from the first (still legal) marriage.
Over the last few months, I've gotten the sense that "co-parent" helps out in these situations, referring to whomever the parent thinks of as his or her primary support in the act of parenting - it is a broader term than spouse, doesn't have the sometimes negative association that comes with "stepparent," and acknowledges the nurturing role a live-in partner plays even if that relationship is not legal.
I'm curious if it also applies to the extended parenting roles that are necessitated by OFW parents. For instance, consider this highly unlikely (but theoretically possible) situation. I go on an unaccompanied assignment, leaving Greg and the boys (not my plan, but just for instance). Greg's sister ends up working at a school in the same city as his assignment. Feeling pity on him, she moves in to help with the boys. Would she, then, be considered a "co-parent" for that short period of time? Or does it have to be longer?
Americans, at least in my experience, have a very set and comparatively narrow definition of "parent." In my opinion, it doesn't seem to extend beyond the bio-parent, step-parent, or adoptive-parent. The idea of a "co-parent," though, intrigues me, especially in light of the extended absence of an OFW parent. Greg's TDY really made me appreciate having two parents - as a single parent, I had to be "on" all the time. Were he gone for three years, I might appreciate my sister or brother or own parent filling in as a co-parent.
1 comment:
I'm ready. Well I don't want you and Greg to be apart for a long time, I'm just saying you can put my name on the list
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