Putting things in his terms

Between Facebook and the newspaper, Wm asked about "pride" and "same-sex marriage" and rainbows.  He already knows about LGBT, so it was more a discussion about why it marriage wasn't legal in some places before.

Then, after some reflection, he said: "Well, I guess for kids who like boardgames, having two moms would be great.  And for kids who only like sports, having two dads would be great.  But, for me, I like having a mom and a dad because sometimes I like to play boardgames and sometimes I like to play sports."

And, now you know what Greg and I each play the most often with Wm.

Gender & Generational Change

For your amusement, an excerpt of our dinner conversation last night:

Wm: Did you know that "William" is the second most popular name for U.S. presidents tied with "John"?  There were 4 Williams.  "James" is the most popular - there were six.  

[discussion on how no Patricks or Ians]

[discussion on me/Greg/my mom trying to name all the Jameses and Williams]

Wm: My teacher didn't tell me what the most popular girl's name was for the presidents.  Maybe "Susan" because of Susan B Anthony?

My mom: No, she wasn't a president.

Wm: Well, who were our girl presidents? 

Greg: Um... we haven't had one.

Wm: WHAT? How can no girl have been president EVER? 

This gives me hope on changes in thinking on gender equality.  

[Side note: Wikipedia indicates there were actually 5 Johns, so William is downgraded to third place.  Sorry, kid.]

PEPCO's astonishing show of efficiency

PEPCO (our local power co) has been advertising its EnergyWise peak savings program since we've moved in.  I've received countless fliers and emails.  Each time I receive one, I think: I should enroll in this.  Twice, I've even gone to the website to see if I could enroll from there, but after three clicks, I got distracted by something else.  So, I've never enrolled.

Imagine my surprise just now when I got a phone call - which I almost didn't answer because only sales calls call our home phone - from PEPCO.  The agent said that a number of my neighbors had signed up so they'd be sending a crew to my area next week (enrolling involves installation of a new piece of equipment) and she wanted to know if I (a) knew about the program and (b) was interested in signing up.

Yes, thank you!

A shocking sign of efficiency and proactive nature from an old electric power company.  

OK. I will admit it.

I really like my house in the close-in suburbs.  There.  I've said it.

It took eight years of being a parent, three kids, and as many moves.  I realized today as I was walking from my (4 bedroom single family) house to the neighborhood park, waving at one neighbor as she pulled out of her driveway, chatting with another as he was pausing while digging out a tree ... I have a pretty nice set up going on right now.  Room in the yard for the boys to play soccer or baseball, enough space for when my mom moved in with us (well, her style is probably cramped a bit, but still - in general enough space), Wm rode his bike to school this morning - I walked home from the metro - Greg ran to the grocery store on foot this morning when we realized we were out of butter.

I even genuinely offered to host my sister's wedding, if she wanted a casual backyard affair for under 60 guests (probably best for our relationship that she did not actually take me up on this crazy offer, especially since her wedding came two weeks after a state visit when I was stressed to the max at work).

When we were living in Manila and trying to decide where to live, it was hard to give up DC.  Super hard.  I almost suffered an identity crisis (and, maybe Greg actually did and still is?).  But, facing up to the budgetary constraints of two government worker salaries -- and still wanting a home big enough to host Thanksgiving dinner (25 people) -- a decision on space had to be made.  It wasn't made lightly or without minor angst.

I admit, leaving work on time and the absolutely perfect spring evening weather probably had a large effect.  Tonight, that nag wondering if we should have gone with a smaller space in the city is gone.  It's official.  I've become a suburban mom (albeit one who travels the world every 3 yrs or so).

Crown Thy Good In Sisterhood

It's been a year to think about sisterhood, with the debate that kicked off at my alma mater at the beginning of the school year (read NYT article here and HuffPo article on the College's resolution here).

What I read with most interest (and, I admit, a twinge of sadness) were the last few paragraphs of the NYT article, describing a conflict at the end of "America the Beautiful."

And crown thy good with "____"-hood from sea to shining sea!

I loved filling in the blank with "sister" instead of "brother."  In fact, "America the Beautiful" is part of the standard repertoire of lullabies at our house, and I've always sung it "sisterhood" to my boys.

Until recently, that is.  One night, Patch asked why the song was about sisters, since he had brothers.  Valid point.  I answered truthfully that I sang the song often with my Wellesley College sisters, so that's how I liked to sing it.  We debated what we could put in that blank, since singing "brotherhood," Patch reasoned, would make me sad since that's not how I liked to remember the song (smart cookie!).

For awhile we sang, "childhood," in honor of all children.  Then that became "personhood" to not exclude adults.  Lately, though, the preferred method is just for me to pause and each boy pick some kind of "-hood" they want to bestow upon the world.  Current favorites are "awesome-hood" (Wm) and "canine-hood" (Patch); Ian prefers a silent pause.

With the Wellesley debate tempered down after the March decision to admit trans-students but keep the pronouns in the feminine, and my own internal house debate about how to sing the song settled about the same time, I hadn't thought much about sisterhood in a few months.

Until I read in the WaPo this morning about Sweet Briar College's very likely final graduation ceremony and closing, that is.  The description and celebration of sisterhood resonated.  I hope the few remaining women's colleges open their doors to those women now searching for an institution at which to finish their studies.  And that the few women's colleges left can keep "crowning thy good with sisterhood" rather than hear the refrain of "another one bites the dust."

Why do I make my life more difficult than it needs to be?

Patch will be entering KG this fall.  Yay.  Enrollment packet came home from school the day he had a doctor appointment, and I could actually drop the form off without having to make a second trip.  Double yay.  School gave me six weeks notice for our parent-child orientation day - ample time to take off from work.  Triple yay.  

Now I read the packet more carefully, with everything I have to prepare.  

Birth certificate or passport - check.  

Mortgage bill or other proof of residency - check.  

Social Security Card - um, weird, but ok, check. 

Then the kicker:

"If your child was not born in the United States, please contact the International Student Office at 301-230-0686 for an appointment prior to the dates of orientation.  Children born outside the United States cannot be enrolled without first going to the International Student office." 

Um, ouch.  

Now, I know that since Patch is a citizen jus sanguis - from his blood, the second he was born - I can pretty much tell you whatever this process is or Office is supposed do to, does not apply to him.  I can also tell you that if I showed up with this Certificate of Report of Birth Abroad, the school secretary would have no idea what to do with it.  

Now I am going to keep my fingers crossed and hope that when I call the office, they have enough experience with "international students" like Patch (this is a DC suburb, after all), that I don't actually have to make a special trip to have his status (which is "citizen") verified.  Let's hope!  But, I only have myself to blame for this, of course.

secret to keeping my mind sane

I did not succeed in March (at keeping myself sane), which should be evident because I did not post a single blog post.

But, April 1-7, I'm home for a combination of child-watching and vacation (Lea is back in the Philippines, getting a new visa and visiting family).  Last night, I realized that, since November, I hadn't been following my own advice.  And, this is why I was feeling out of sorts.

My secret to keeping sane, with all the boys and working?  Taking one day off per month to get done all those little things that mount up.  (In honestly, that is tip #2.  Tip #1 is being able to be lucky enough to have a nanny who does laundry, cleans, and cooks dinner.  Without that, I'd be crazy.)  I had been doing a good job all of 2014 in following this piece of advice.  But then we took a wonderful week at Thanksgiving in Texas.  And then I threw out my back and for mid-December through the end of Feb, I was having to juggle two physical therapy sessions per week, so no extra time off.

But yesterday, I was home.  It was crazy running around (and, I admit, I tried to squeeze too much in and didn't make it home in time to cook dinner ... though this sort of turned into a parenting win, because Wm got his long-time wish since he remembered the local pizza joint has kids movie night on Wednesdays).  But, I crossed off some of those little things (my hair cut, second opinion on some bumps Ian has, Ian's hair cut, sorting papers, and I'm sure some other things, too, given how busy I was) and went to sleep happy.

Note to self: don't forget to take that one day per month!